Breastfeeding: Uncensored

Husbands, loving family members, friends and strangers do not understand the emotional side of nursing a baby - and how can they if they have never gone through it? They may suggest bottle feeding {formula} without hesitation (which undermines all of your hard work.) They may get embarrassed when you feed your little one in public. They may suggest that you are selfish for wanting to nurse your baby even though it is difficult at first or for months or even inconvenient. Finding other nursing moms to confide & trust in, is super helpful and a necessity. Through the turmoil, heart ache, and sleepless nights, I wouldn't have it any other way, but that doesn't mean it's easy or for the faint of heart.

1. Its Lonely

Yes, I use a nursing cover - but Emily does not like it. What does that mean for me? That means if we are anywhere but home, we must find a secluded area to nurse where I do not have to be exposed. It means nursing in the car almost anytime we are out running errands. It even means nursing in her bedroom with the door shut because she is at that age where even the sound of the dogs is enough to distract her & any mom who has been through this stage knows it's not worth losing a nipple over. Even feeding next to my husband most of the time is too much for her. So, if she is feeding 5 -6 times a day for 30 minutes, I am spending 150-180 minutes secluded. Secluded when we are at a family or friend get together and they are all socializing. Secluded when my husband and I want to have a movie night by the little one wants to eat. It can be very lonely.

2. Lopsided Boobs

Not all breasts are created equal. It is not uncommon for one breast to make more milk than the other. It is then not uncommon for your little one to favor one over the other because of supply or any other reason. It is then not uncommon for your breasts to be different sizes after they were both used to making different amounts of milk and being used for different amounts of time. Attractive.

3. Lame Boob

Yes, this is a thing. So, there is nothing like pumping for the first time to find out that one breast produces 1/2 or less the amount as the other breast. Do you continue to pump just on that side to help increase production? Do you feed your little one more on that side to increase production? Do you do anything, but stress about it all the time?

4. Breastfeeding Diet

Many women change their diet to include foods that help milk production. Some women avoid acidic food for fear of upsetting their little one's tummies and for the same reason some women avoid spicy food. Some avoid coffee and most avoid alcohol or at least are very cautious and only drink it right after their little one feeds, to avoid baby getting any of the alcohol. Some are really {true sarcasm here} lucky and eliminate foods based on their little ones allergies. Whatever it is - mamas are not only careful about what they eat during pregnancy but while they are breastfeeding.

5. Leaking

There is no feeling like the night your little one sleeps through the night for the first time. The feeling I am talking about is not the worry of if they are breathing or the feeling of, oh my goodness I might get sleep again, but the feeling that your boobs might explode. Your little one might sleep 7, 8, 9, or even 10 hours that night, but you will sleep much less, unless you get up to pump out some of that milk. You will awaken to a puddle of milk in your bed and soreness in your boobs like none other. Thank goodness this feeling doesn't last very long. Eventually they level off as your little one gets on a schedule.

6. Wardrobe

The last thing any nursing mom wants is to have a hungry screaming baby and shes unable to get to her boobs quick enough. Add a nursing cover to that mix and its a recipe for disaster. Finding clothes that are easily accessible and cute seem to be quite the challenge. And if you're anything like me, your old clothes don't fit due to things growing, so you have to buy a whole new nursing wardrobe.

7. Changed Intimacy

All of a sudden your breasts are no longer yours. They are a source of food and support for a tiny human. It is hard to be in one mindset as a nurturing mother to then all of a sudden take ownership back at the end of the day.

8. That Pumping Life

Feed child. Pump milk. Feed child. Pump milk. All day long!! Or maybe you are the working mom who feeds your child before and after work and pumps every three hours you are away from your kid. Either way, you feel like a cow & the adorable design of each breast pump absolutely enhances that feeling.

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9. Time Consuming

I was well aware of the amount of time I spent feeding my child. I have a breastfeeding app that times each feeding so I know my little one is getting enough. So, I know EXACTLY how long I am feeding her each day. BUT it wasn't until I started spending time with my sister and her newborn son, who is bottle fed, that I realized how much time I spend feeding, compared to her. He downs that bottle so quick, compared to my daughter breastfeeding. AND my amazing timer doesn't even account for the amount of time I spend wrestling my kid, while trying to feed, because she is too distracted and would rather do something else.

10. The Judgement

Unfortunately this applies no matter how you feed you baby. There is always someone who knows better. Always someone who gives you a dirty look because "the other way is better!" You do you!!

Fed is best. Period. Whatever works for you and your baby is the best thing for both of you.

Despite the trials and tears, I have loved breastfeeding my babe & in honor of National Breastfeeding Month, am taking breastfeeding pictures today. I can't wait to share them with you!

Until next time, much love,